AWAKENING THROUGH CHANGE

AWAKENING THROUGH CHANGE

The next 6-8 weeks was to be a spiritual journey of my inner self. I was to become now what I call enlightened. I changed almost overnight. It took about a week for my deepest fears to surface and these mostly were of a sexual nature, my thoughts, memories and fantasies, these are the areas of my life that were hidden from me and the world. With the help of this new found higher power thing, I was able to put the same action into this sex side of the programme of AA as I did into stopping drinking and drugs, total abstinence it had to be for me. These things changed within a week. It seemed the energies I saved by directing my sexual desires appropriately were manifesting in my physical and emotional body's. Through changes not just in the sexual area but in all areas of my thinking my spiritual journey became a flight in to the kingdom of heaven. I was becoming fully human and fully alive. Do not get me wrong here, doing this opened up the doors to the true me, I found out about my own sexuality and my true desires and the ones that I beat myself up about. These are all a part of me, I just had to get them sorted out as to what is good for me and what isn't so good and each person has their own ways of finding and making these changes. My higher power and George helped me make these conscious decisions during this time. I admitted to god, to myself and another human being the exact nature of my wrongs. This was a major part of my journey I had to undertake to get sober and how to live life on life’s terms. Previous to this life changing experience I remember sitting with George doing a test that had 100 questions. This test was about how I viewed the world about me. (My views on myself others and god). The results stunned me. At this time all I had in the God bag was the music I listened to, the other two, myself and others I did not trust in at all. Out of the hundred questions I got 17 percent for myself and 19 percent for others and 96 percent for God. During this experience, the percentage went up dramatically. I started to respect myself and others a bit more, I would think I learnt to be humble and gained compassion through the fellowship of A.A , I also learnt gratitude and giving to others was a must for the spiritual walk I was on. Acceptance in all things was the answer to all of this stuff I was blessed to go through at this time, good and bad. This kundalini energy as I know it now was able to transmute the sexual energy into higher vibrations of light culminating in a psychic change within me. I found out I am neither saint nor sinner I am human; I am perfect in the eyes of God. I make mistakes but today I learn from them, today I act appropriately and try not to react to a given situation. I try and see the lesson spirit is teaching me in all things. All things come from source good and not so good, all light and all darkness are from one God the source creator energy that moves through all dimensions of space and time. We are like deme-gods, or the children of God. We are made in its image therefore it is only right that we use this image to love the world and all its diversities good and not so good. My higher power sits on a throne of white energies that of which would blind a man, Radiating in all directions out from this light vibrates a beautiful sound with various frequency’s and colours assigned to each of them. For me personally all of these frequencies and colours reside within me and around and outside of me, each in its own right a part of God or source spirit. We can connect to these frequencies through crystals, music, chanting many more things can and do activate these vibrations. For example I have all what is in the creator within me, so I have all the music and colours of my God within me. A crystal holds only a certain frequency , holding a given crystal let's say jasper, will automatically find and start resonating with this individual set of frequency’s within me, jasper will heighten my awareness and open up and vibrate at a higher level than all the other frequency’s within me. In turn connecting jasper's properties with my own. Jasper is a nurturer; it helps in times of stress bringing tranquility and wholeness in turn guiding us to help others. Tourmaline holds a cleansing energy it will transmute dark negative energies in to light, it clears and balances the chakras. Amethyst will be protective and has a high vibration, it brings on high states of consciousness and meditation, and it blocks negative environmental energies from around us. All these crystals will connect with many more frequencies that are in us, some often lying dormant for many years. This part of my life was as if I bypassed all the sound and colours and entered the throne room of God’s blinding white light. Over a few weeks my talking had matured, my actions were in synchronization with the world; I felt whole and even walked more upright. Within 6 weeks I had become unrecognizable. From a lost young immature little boy to an example of gods will in and through me. I could see god in everything and in the eyes of people all around me, it was gentle and loving, and never in a rush. I could see things that others could not, the lies and deceiving ways of government and of corporations. I saw that none of it mattered as the power within me let me know this. It has the whole wide world in its hands. I knew things and had answers to stuff I had no idea about, if someone asked me something, anything, I would have the answer or know somebody or somewhere to find it. This was a conscious contact that was with and in me every second of the day, yes even going to the toilet it was there. God is omnipresent; he brings a deep love I will never forget until I enter this place again. I recognize today this was the akashik records hall I was experiencing when I was gifted with these downloads of knowledge, I could not possibly know! I was nothing, and then I became everything there is, the gift was I knew it. Fear had all but completely left me, I knew if God said jump in front of a lorry to save a child and I was going to die, it would be a great and proud moment, he would have let me know all this not in words as such but in a vibration that only comes from source. My life and my will I hand over to the care of God and when done completely brings wisdom and knowing beyond words. I had been rocketed into the fifth dimension or further and could see from a position within God's throne. Believe me or not this isn't up for debate, I knew not then but over the years I have realized that I became like Christ or Buddha I was a channel of love, a portal for the light of God to move through. I became my own little deme-god walking on earth in union with source. Yes this is what I experienced and I do not mock any religious beliefs, as I believe all have had a part to play in the society of today, all beings have a right to belong to any religion they choose. I walked with God in this place, one with my ego, higher self and god (source). Nirvana in real time living and walking in the garden of Eden or heaven manifest on earth, all through this 6 weeks I felt like this. I was encompassed within a bubble of love, Christ consciousness I name it today but then I just called it brilliant. For instance I felt and walked around in this place ( bubble ) it had the energy ( feeling ) of standing in the middle of the hills on a sunny morning in the 13th century, all you can see for miles is nature, a peaceful quite place of beauty. I walked with this feeling of slowed down peacefulness in the fast paced world of today. It was heaven on earth. I will put it like this, my ego ruled my life and actions and I didn't know it. During this time I recognised this ego as something that needed to be tamed with love and not banished. The transformation was to reveal a beautiful little part of my spirit just wanting attention. My ego will manipulate against me, just as children try to manipulate their parents. We are born into this world and sold an idea of God and what we should believe; we are trapped in an idealistic world that gives us limited scope to explore our own inner truth. We are fed information from the day we are born just like a parent feeds a child; this feeding of information is limited only to what serves the ruling elite class. They do not teach us of spirituality, of becoming creator beings in our own rite, creator being is something retained for the elite. I believe we all have it and are now waking up to this fact. There is no magic it's only hidden science. Believe me I spent years looking for the magic.